Spoiler Alert:
If you haven't seen this movie, don't read this, ya Dingus!
Also, if you haven't seen this movie, Get on that.
This movie is easily my favorite Star Wars movie (tied with the other two) which is why I was so surprised by how many things I noticed that I didn't like. I almost stopped for fear of what I might find, but for the sake of my huge Fan base, I continued. This is, after all, the final Star Wars film. It would be too ironic not to finnish. As for my problems, I got a list, here's the order of my list that it's in:
1. Probably the most annoying thing about this movie is that I don't have any clue what the time span is between this and the previous film. It can't be that long, because Chewbacca and Lando are on Tattoine the whole time. Apparently Luke has time to get a lot better, but not enough time to go back to visit Yoda. They obviously didn't have a lot of time to plan out the escape, but that's next. Luke tells Yoda that he has improved greatly, so he must have had a little while to train on his own (not that he's shown any improvement).
2. The plan to rescue Han must have taken about one minute to come up with.
"Here's what we're gonna do. We'll slowly infiltrate Jabba's palace one by one then, Luke, you come in last and shoot Jabba... That aught'a work. Any suggestions?"
"Yeah, let's have Leia bring Chewy in as a bounty hunter. That way He can be in the jail cell when we're all making our escape."
"It's a Trap!"
3. R2-D2 sounds different in this movie. He seems to be louder and more animated. It's like they updated his speech capacity with the hyper-child mod.
4. Luke... is so stupid at the beginning of this movie. He thinks that he's got these super awesome powers, but it's obvious that he's got some work to do. It's funny how he struts into Jabba's Palace even though he's probably not a whole lot better than he was at the end of "Empire." So this whole rescue mission is in the midst of Luke's experimental phase. He's like a kid who just learned a new word. He's so exited to show off only to realize that everybody already knows that word. All of this is the most evident when Luke visits Yoda. Even though he tells Jabba that he's a full fledged Jedi, when he talks to Yoda it's apparent that he's not at all certain.
5. I've made this visual to aid your understanding of my stance...
6. Now that we're on the same page, there is this edit that doesn't look good to me, but I won't bore you with that... It happens at 24:58.
7. Jabba's Palace setup is an oxymoron. He's got this primitive civilization thing going on, but he also has electric lights, automatic doors, and those flashing, beeping buttons with no use.
8. The last encounter that Han has with Lando was not so nice. Why is he so willing to save Lando's life from the Sarlacc?
9. How convenient is it that the breaker box for the whole ship is right by Jabba for Leia to smash.
10. When Luke learns about his sister, he takes it pretty well. But in the last second before the cut to a different scene Luke's face makes a very subtle transition from, "Ok, Leia is my sister." to "Wait, I kissed her!"
11. Durring the Ewok scene, there is a whole group of Rebel troops hiding in the woods waiting for Han and Luke to find Leia. I wonder what they were thinking.
12. I just think it's great that the Ewok are willing to help the rebellion. Think about it. The Empire has never done any substantial harm to them and if they continued to rule, the Ewok probably wouldn't every see The Empire when they finished the Death Star. They help because it's the right thing to do, not because they are in danger or stand to make a profit.
13. Yet another great comparison between The Force and religion. The Sith believe in Destiny and the Jedi believe in Free Will. In the same way, Christians disagree about Predestination and Free Will.
14. How could Luke possibly be surprised the trap? He's obviously proof that the rebel alliance is on the offensive. He even says, "I shouldn't have come. I'm endangering the mission."
LUKE! You're slippin' up!
15. I swear to God! These God forsaken Stormtroopers are the worst solders...
OF ALL TIME!
I mean I've always known they were bad, but really? When a couple of Ewok can beat you to death with some twigs, you got a problem. I mean, how do you NOT SHOOT Han and Leia when they're totally cornered? I swear their bones are made of tissue paper. It's weird because their pilots are ridiculously good.
That's as much as I can say against this movie without throwing up. So now it's you're turn. Can you bare to mention something else wrong with this movie, or can you ease the pain with something good?
OR
Can you eat a whole bag of Doritos and honestly tell me that you're content with your lifestyle?
I don't think you can,
Dan Hatton
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